Friday, April 21, 2017

MY THIRD BABY - A Note on the Importance of Sleep

Teaching your baby to sleep, and love it, is one of the most important things you're going to do IN HIS LIFE. I'm speaking as the wife of a 34 year old bloke who apparently still hasn't learned this lesson, sigh. And yes, I'm including learning to relate to other humans, learning to read, learning to drive a car... First and foremost: SLEEP. My advice is to start working on it (teeny weeny baby steps) early and you'll save you both a lot of pain in the long run!

If you're not yet a parent there's probably A LOT you don't know about sleep, including exactly how poorly you function on very little sleep. And here's the thing, even as a new parent you can always aspire to getting 8 hours sleep in 24 hours, BUT there is a difference between eight individual hours of sleep, four two hour blocks, two four hour blocks, or (the HOLY GRAIL) eight glorious hours in a row!

Eight individual hours - Think Guantanamo Bay.

Four two hour blocks - Why do you hate me Baby?

Two four hour blocks - Not the best, but at least you wake up feeling like you've slept.

Eight hours ALL IN A ROW - Holy crap, who am I? Am I superwoman???

As a pre-parent you probably know how hard it is to cope when you've been up all night studying for an exam, or out late drinking and dancing. What you know less about is what it's like to have to get up at an unknown arbitrary time and do something demanding, regardless of whether you feel like doing it. Most of us in the past have had the option to call in sick, or power through the exam and then go home to bed. We don't know what it's like to feel completely bled dry, and still have to get up to answer your little one's cries. You lie down, spent, unable to move. I could't possibly do another thing. I MUST sleep. For many MANY MANY hours... "Waaaaaaaaaaahhh!" Well, here we go again... You are constantly finding and depleting hidden reserves of energy within you. You always feel like you have no energy, and any energy you can find is going straight into the baby, because it must! You can't simply switch the baby off for a couple of days and come back to it once you feel ready! Ha! More's the pity!

I happen to believe that the lack of sleep, and associated coping mechanisms, are character building for us parents! When your baby hits his next milestone you'll feel like you've achieved something too because you've put all this effort into keeping him alive!! It is definitely a feat of endurance!

What I don't subscribe to is the self-martyrdom of getting up to baby's every snuffle in the night. I don't believe that a baby who sleeps through the night before the age of two has been neglected into submission. I don't think you're a hero because you're still doing night feeds for a baby who's well-established on his solids. I think* that once the first three months, that precious "fourth trimester" period, is over, you can really start to DO something about sleep. Yes, your baby might still take months to get the hang of it, but there's no reason not to try! 

Because you and your baby will both function better when you've both had plenty of good-quality sleep.




*and once again, I admit I have no medical qualifications, only my own experience, chats with other mums, a shelf full of books, and extensive reading on Pinterest boards on the subject... :P

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Baking Sourdough

The long awaited (well, for some!) chatty sourdough post!!

My first sourdough experiment was about four years ago, and did not get beyond the starter. That's right; no ACTUAL bread was made! Even with six weeks experience under my belt now, I couldn't tell you exactly what went wrong, but I'm guessing that the starter must have starved to death. So my confidence was shattered, I decided this was just going to be one more failure I would have to accept... And then recently I got chatting to a delightful young lady, who made it sound sooo easy I just had to give it another go!!

Having pretty much completed the beginner phase, I now want to hold the hands of a few more people who'd like to make their own proper bread and say (as I always do!) "If I can do it, anyone can!" It's a bit of a commitment, but it isn't hard work at all. If you don't consider yourself a "baker", ie. you've had your fair share of flat cakes, or burnt biscuits, sourdough might be for you! It doesn't demand the same sort of exactness that other more delicate baking does. You don't need a science degree to manage the chemistry of flour and water (though I imagine that might make it even more interesting!) As I observe the culture and experiment with it I make guesses about what might result from each change in quantity. If I get caught up in a line at the supermarket checkout I consider what the extra fifteen minutes wait might mean for my bread. I have been pleasantly surprised over the course of the last few weeks to find that generally my dough will forgive me for neglecting it and still produce a rustically beautiful loaf!

One question I've frequently been asked since I started is "Is it worth doing?" Well, if you're reading this, I think it might be. To be fair, I'm a stay at home mum with three tiny dependent kids, what's one more baby to feed, eh? I'm home all day anyways, might as well have something to show for it, blah blah blah... If you work full time you might have to play around with it so it suits your schedule, say, make your dough in the evening, refrigerate overnight and bake it in the morning, which is totally doable and depending on the timing of when I want to eat, I regularly do that too. 

But then again, if you care about what you put in your mouth, if you "eat to live" as well as "live to eat", there might be something to it. I have noticed that my sourdough bread is much gentler on my digestion than anything you can buy at the supermarket, even though it is made with the much-maligned WHITE flour! And it looks impressive, and tastes amazing... If any of that matters to you, it just might be WORTH doing.

So, "Where's the recipe???" I hear you begging! "Come now, surely we've listened to your proselytising for long enough!!!" Well for that my friends... You will have to persevere a little longer with me! I started out with a loooong recipe for making and tending my starter, and then an even longer recipe (25 steps!!) for making the bread!! When it came to the recipe for the bread I was nearly defeated. Pleased with myself for growing such a lively culture, I read all those steps and nearly chucked it thinking "Oh who can be bothered!" But actually I've found that the overly exact recipe has helped me to understand what's happening to the ingredients along the way, helped me to refine my process, and test-drive dropping steps out if I thought I might be able to do without them. 

Before you really get going though, let's get one thing straight; yes, to begin with it's going to be a teaspoon of this and so many grams of that... But I hope that as you get going, you will start to get a feeeeeeel for things. You will start to see, Oh, this dough is a bit wetter than yesterday's, what sort of bread will that make? Whoops, I gave it four hours instead of three, fingers crossed we still get something edible! Don't be wedded to the recipe, I'm sure our great great great great... great great grandmothers weren't! 

And that's what I really love about this bread; when I'm up to my elbows in flour paste, and there's a light snow of wheaty dust all over every surface in my home... I feel deeply connected to every other living being who has done this before me. Who has taken the bare basics of flour, water and salt, trusted God with the leaven, and brought forth so many beautiful loaves of health-giving, love-laden bread for their families to enjoy. No one who baked such a loaf could possibly be resentful of the little effort that it took to maintain, or that it didn't make neat sandwiches, or that the bubbles throughout weren't uniform in size. All of that is just part of its charm, a reflection of the day it was baked, the fact that it wasn't just a slice of bread but a relationship between two living things. After all isn't that what the ethical production of food is all about? Whether it's meats, vegetables or grains, it is quite simply; the respect of one living being for another. Love your starter and it will love you back.

Two things though; if you like super-exactness in recipe and result... This probably isn't for you. And in that same vein, if you hate mess, and any sort of mould/ferment makes you feel queasy just thinking of it... Yeah, this definitely isn't for you!!! Me? I can cope with every surface in the kitchen being covered with a light dusting of flour. I'm totally happy with, and grateful for, a flour-covered tea towel that hasn't been washed in six weeks (and isn't going to be any time soon!) And I can deal with rescuing a ferment on the brink of disaster. If that doesn't sound like you... Well, maybe still give it a go, maybe sourdough is the gift that will give you an appreciation for all those formerly vomit-worthy things... Or maybe you will learn that $5.50+++ a loaf is totally worth it to you!!! For me, no way mate, I want all the perks of real homemade bread, including a house that smells like real homemade bread...


Yes, you saw it coming... I have become a total #SourdoughSnob!!! The final battle for me will be coming to terms with the price of organic bread flour, and then I'll never be able to eat a square sandwich again! Now while I'm off to design my "Sourdoughaholics Anonymous" badges, here are some useful links for you:



Making a "Starter":

http://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-your-own-sourdough-starter-cooking-lessons-from-the-kitchn-47337

I think it helps that I started in the Summer, my starter was nice and warm and happy. I'm going to be very interested to see how the change in weather impacts my starter and my baking.



Making Sourdough Bread:

http://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-sourdough-bread-224367

As I've said, I've now radically simplified this recipe for my own use (in fact I do the whole thing from memory, and just set alarms on my phone to remind me when to do the next thing) but I'm still grateful for the over-abundance of steps because I think it gives you a feel for the process, rather than just blindly following along. I hope you'll find that too. Also note, I was baking one enormous loaf from this recipe and have since halved the recipe and I bake one small loaf. Mainly because I feel the bread is best in its first 24 hours, and I don't mind baking every day, and the simple fact that getting a knife through the middle of it is slightly less messy with a smaller loaf.



******* If you've gotten this far, but the idea of fermenting flour and water bubbling away in your cupboard still makes you queasy, but you'd like to make beautiful bread, then I ask that you to Google "Dutch Oven Bread", and try that. (Being familiar with this method of baking really helped me when it came to making sourdough because the process is much the same.)

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Back Soon...

Just to let people know, I have my new computer! We will be back to regular programming soon!!

Thursday, February 16, 2017

ACCOUNTABILITY #2

Time for this again. Sigh. I feel it is going to be a bit disappointing as I haven't really FOCUSED on it like I should. Ah well, let's not get discouraged, lets just chip away at these things, few months left!

1. A working cleaning schedule

Ok. So. I have made the list of jobs I talked about in the last update. And I have had some ideas about how best to structure my week to get them done.

But also, I got my Dyson Handstick off layby two weeks ago and OH. MY. GOODNESS. It has totally REVOLUTIONISED my cleaning. I now vacuum sometimes three or four times a week! It's gone from "most hated job", to "almost fun"! If, like me, you HAAAAAATE vacuuming, this is the solution. This may be the best $299 I spend this year. Yes it's early, and yes that's a lot of money, but I am so so happy with it.

3. Say the rosary

It's not TOTALLY hopeless, I have said a couple of broken rosaries. And I've had some thoughts about getting X involved, which might help.

4. Start traditions/honour saints' feast days

Once again, it's not totally hopeless, I have done some thinking on this one. 

I'd like to read some of the many books we own about St. Therese of Lisieux, and start doing the Tuesday prayer thing with her. I've seen a really nice statue of her which I'd like to get as a 1st birthday present for E (any excuse really!).

And I've started reading the kids a book about Saints. They like that but it doesn't have all their saints in it, so I'm thinking about maybe making a Family Saint Album...?

5. Finish the baby books

I have consciously put time into this this week. Benedict's book is the most comprehensive (read: SO MANY FREAKIN QUESTIONS!!!) and so consequently the most behind!! And I'm budgeting to print more photos (E's doesn't have any photos yet) which is the other thing that needs doing, apart from just entering the information. I've also looked into having some plywood boxes made to put the baby books and some mementoes into... Because I am rich? And obsessive? It's just a nice idea, maybe one day...

6. Cover the kids' books

I can't remember if I've covered any more since last time. I had the thought "before I put these back in the cupboard* I should cover them." 

*My kids don't have access to all the books at once. For my sanity, and their safety.

7. Multivitamin

No. Eek! The one that is most about looking after myself is the one I've done least about! And so, karmically, I am currently sick. Boo.

8. Save for Christmas

Yaaaasssssss! Put $50 in the account today!! Just so I could say so in this update! HA!

I have also decided that if there's leftovers once Christmas presents are bought we should use some of this money for going out for dinner in the last couple of weeks of school cos that's such a lovely end to the term/start to the Summer. So basically this cash stash can be tapped in November, all presents sorted by end of November, and then decide what to do with what's leftover.

Also candles for Candlemas, should buy those with this budget too. I have this terrible premonition that the MORE things I think of to buy from this budget, the LESS money there will actually be to buy them with!

Thursday, February 9, 2017

MY THIRD BABY - The Crying

Here's the thing, once he's clean, dry, warm, fed, well-rested... If he still wants to cry, that can become really stressful for you. It certainly does for me.

Because here you are, desperately trying to meet his needs and make him feel secure, and he seems to have NO respect for how hard you're trying!!! I know mama, you're doing your darnedest to ensure he doesn't experience any discomfort, and trying to respect the fact that he's new here, it's a nasty shock, he's moved from a secure aquatic environment to a whole new ecosystem...

But this bit, where he's crying and crying, I think it's all part of learning that sometimes you can't fix it. Think about a time when you've been uncomfortable or life has been difficult in some way and someone has come in and done something that eased your discomfort. Ahhh, nice. Now think of a time when you've grieved a loss, and people have tried to ease your pain... Sometimes you can be distracted from it, but nothing quite removes the source of your anguish. Nothing can change the fact that what you had is gone.

He's grieving here. Grieving the easy life he's lost where he was never cold, hungry, or being irritated by an uncomfortable outfit*, and perhaps on some level he knows that life is never going to be that easy again. 

And I think part of what makes it stressful for you is that YOU KNOW his life is never going to be THIS easy again! Sleeping 18 hours a day, eating on demand, wheeled around in a fancy hi-tech carriage, snuggled all day long, a wardrobe full of cosy jumpsuits (and ONLY cosy jumpsuits)... ALL expenses paid?!?!?! This is as good as it gets kid!

Sadly it doesn't stop here either. The crying (and screaming and whining and other unattractive emotional outbursts, where are they learning this stuff???) continue, into toddlerhood and beyond. And it probably won't get easier to listen to, or easier to sympathise with, especially when he's distraught over you putting his milk in the green cup instead of the blue one.

So at this point, as hard as it may be, it's best to accept NOW that NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, he is STILL going to hurt many times in his life. Whether you can see it, understand it, or agree that it is a good enough reason to scream the house down at 3am, he is still going to express himself that way at some point. And sometimes it will hurt you that he's hurting. That you perhaps could have prevented it, that it seems too much for him to be expected to cope with, that it's not... Fair? Or perhaps other times you will be glad that he's hurting! Maybe now he'll stop climbing on the furniture, or thumping his brother who's now big enough to thump him back!

It's all part of the "having a kid" experience. Babies cry. I wish someone had helped me understand that with my first child, because I think I genuinely thought I was going to be such a FANTASTIC mother that my child would never cry! Hoo boy it's been a long road to this point.


*An extra note here; your baby might be very cute but a fashion icon she ain't. Tutus are cute, but have you ever had tule come into contact with your bare skin? And she doesn't want to wear anything with a waistband for at least four to six months. ESPECIALLY if you're having issues with gas, just imagine a balloon with a rubber band tied around it... Step away from the size 000 jeans, it's Pyjama Time people.