CHICKEN KORMA PIE

This year I made this for the feast of St. Joseph, The Worker - March 19th. Hence the "JMJ"

***

I apologise, sometimes I feel like I'm just thinking out loud on this blog (at best) and other times I worry I'm preaching (worst!) how to live your life according to me... Me, who does NOT have it figured out. Ask anyone who knows me, they know. If they don't... They will soon!

But if I'm gonna preach, I'll always try to preach truth, and the truth is you HAVE to make this. You have to make it just cos I've made the effort of editing the recipe, so you get my version, rather than the flawed original that I made and had to rework to this perfection!

That said, I make this once (maybe twice) a year, it is a bit of an effort! It's worth it, but it's also maintained the status of a feast in our home. I've been making it annually for 8 years now! At a certain point of the year we pour a deep red wine, the leaves begin to fall, there's woodsmoke in the air of an evening, and then my husband turns to me and says "You know what you should make...?" 

I hope you enjoy it as much as we do.



CHICKEN KORMA PIE

3 chicken thighs
1 leek, white part sliced
2 garlic cloves, 1 sliced, 1 crushed
4cm piece ginger, 3cm sliced, 1cm grated
1 bay leaf
50g unsalted butter
2 sheets frozen shortcrust pastry, thawed (I make my own)
1 sheet frozen puff pastry, thawed
1 onion, finely chopped
3 tbs korma (or other mild) curry paste
1 tsp ground cumin
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/4 cup (35g) plain flour
150ml coconut cream
150g green beans, halved1 large parsnip, halved length ways, sliced fairly thin
1/2 cup chopped fresh coriander
1 egg, lightly beaten

Place the chicken in a big saucepan with the leeks, sliced garlic, sliced ginger, bay leaves and 1 tsp sea salt flakes. Cover with water and bring to the boil. Cover, then reduce the heat to low and simmer for 40 minutes or until chicken is cooked. Lift chicken onto a plate, reserving stock, and allow to cool.

Line and grease a large springform cake tin. Use the shortcrust pastry to make the pie shell (If I have them on hand I usually sprinkle a couple of tablespoons of breadcrumbs in the bottom as an insurance against a soggy bottom.)

For the filling, strain the stock, discarding the vegetables, and return to the saucepan. Boil rapidly over high heat for 15-20 minutes until reduced by about two-thirds. Set aside.

Melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium-low heat. Add the onion and cook gently, stirring, until soft but not browned. Add crushed garlic, grated ginger, curry paste, cumin and cayenne pepper and cook for a further 1-2 minutes, stirring, until fragrant. Stir in the flour and cook for 1 minute, then gradually whisk in stock and coconut cream, then add veg. Increase heat to medium and bring to the boil, then reduce heat and simmer til veg is just off cooked, stirring regularly.

Chop the meat into small chunks, stir into the sauce with the coriander, and season with salt and pepper. Transfer to a large shallow dish and chill for 20-30 minutes until the mixture has cooled completely.

Spoon mixture into pie case leaving about 1cm at the top. Brush the inside edge of the case with beaten egg and press the sheet of puff pastry in on top, press to seal around the edge and then cut off the excess. I then roll the edge down, with the shortcrust over the puff pastry, and press the pastries together all around with a fork. Decorate top with leaves etc cut from the leftover puff pastry if desired, poke some holes for the steam to escape, then brush with a little of the beaten egg. Chill for 30 minutes - this will keep the pastry from shrinking.

Preheat oven to 200 degrees celsius. Bake for 40-60 minutes until the pastry is crisp and golden and the filling is bubbling hot. Served with steamed greens and a nice crisp beer, one last Summer Ale before the cold sets in!

FUNK - The Update

I tried to take a step back this week, I knew there was more to my problem than just not being on top of the housework.

Between 9-11 while E sleeps I can really get the kitchen up to scratch, put some washing on and out, and get a lot of the "must-do" stuff done in this time. And by "must-do" I do mean MUST. I MUST clear the kitchen if I'm to have bench space and clean dishes to make the next meal, I MUST do washing if we are to have clothes to wear. I am patting myself on the back this week cos why the bathrooms are still not done, I am actually on top of the must-do stuff 93% of the time.

If I set the kids to work on some colouring or whatever during this time, something contained where they don't move from the dinner table, then they will let me do pretty much whatever, PROVIDED they can see me. They are currently letting me drink coffee and tap away at my computer at the moment while they do their colouring (Full Disclosure: They have not stopped talking to me and asking me questions, but they are doing their own work not trying to climb onto me and see what I'm doing.) I can't however leave them here and go clean the bathroom, unless I want them screaming down the other end of the house for me. (NB: I do not!)

One issue I have identified this week is that whilst I expect the children to entertain each other, or to be able to entertain them with the same things (and they CAN) they are actually at quite different stages (and don't get me started on different personalities!) Because of this they respond to the same tasks differently. B is quite on the ball, but his attention span is pretty short. He can use lots of the same things X does, he LIKES to be thought as grown up as his big brother, but he can't seem to focus for as long, even as long as I feel X did at the same age. Which creates a problem when B gets sick of something, but X is still interested. B doesn't want to go do something different on his own, but it doesn't seem fair to constantly disrupt X if he is deeply engaged in what he's doing. And I can't go and engage with B on my own, while X continues the original task, cos neither will stand for one having me all to himself while the other is awake!!

I find myself in the middle of a problem which cannot actually be "solved", having limited opportunities to sell, or in other ways dispose of, any of the children. And whilst you'd expect that to put me into a tailspin of despair... It's actually been a total relief. I've been able to place some of the problem rightly outside myself and realise that it's not all just me, my failure to entertain them, my short-temper, exhaustion, frustration, not having enough friends, not having an enclosed yard, giving the kids too many options, too few... It's just a season, based on who they are and where they're up to.

A friend who is right at the end of a particularly exhausting pregnancy, was kind enough to say to me this week that lacking the mental energy to get things done is just as valid as lacking the physical energy. And I tried to dismiss her on this, saying no I was simply too lazy, until I had a moment of revelation as the kids played with playdough*. One thing that stresses me out is activities where there is the potential for destruction, playdough, colouring, painting, letting the kids out of my sight... I worry so much about cleaning up the mess. But then, I spend a lot of my day cleaning up mess anyway. And why do I do this job, if it's not to be here to bear witness to the mess of it all? I have chosen this life, I have never felt I was "trapped", it's really given me a chance to start shifting my perspective onto why I insist on doing things the way I do and wonder; is it giving my children the start in life that I dreamed of, or that I hope they will remember? 

Coming up to Mothers' Day it is easy to focus on how much we have sacrificed, certainly this is what a lot of the advertising plays into: "Mum has given up so much for you, say thanks this weekend..." But my perspective has really shifted this week. I am so grateful for my children, but I do hope that one day they will be grateful to have had their mother at home in these formative years. I hope that one day they will reflect not on how much I gave up to do this job, but upon some memories of me enjoying it. They evidently do not care at all if the house is a pigsty, in fact judging on how much time they spend trying to transform it, one might conclude they actually prefer to live in a bombsite!  

This week I had another shift in perspective as I realised how much each of the children has grown in the last six months. My eldest is so big, he is really too big for the pram anymore. I had to make a quick trip into town to do a job, and I was beginning to be frustrated with myself for choosing this particular moment to trial letting my eldest walk, which would inevitably slow us down. As I buckled my littlest baby into the pram, and set off with the eldest trotting along by my side, I was finally able to hear what he's been trying to tell me from the front of the pram. He was so thrilled to be by my side, to have such responsibility, to be able to tell me all about the things we were seeing. I realised that I was always rushing to get things done, so I was always missing out on deep engagement with my kids. I evidently didn't care either about not getting the bathrooms done, I cared about not enjoying my days, and the possibility that that was what my children would remember. 

I thanked God for the moment. My child loves to be with me, what a gift. I could not help but be charmed by him in this moment, and to regret how many such moments I have missed, worrying about less important things.

There is never a good time to slow down, slowing down always means seeing things passing you by. I have been watching the signs instead of "driving to the conditions".

*and if you allow your kids access to playdough you deserve a medal as far as I'm concerned, so I'm calling this week a win purely on that score, and trust me, so are the kids!

THE STORIES WE TELL OUR CHILDREN - CINDERELLA

I think, I hope, if you know me, you know how much I love a good story. I really do pride myself on holding the audience's attention, mimicking the voice or mannerism of a character, modifying my timing, a dramatic pause... And occasionally, very occasionally, just gently massaging the truth...! If you know someone who spins a great yarn it's not a trick, or a bit of luck, but a skill and a great gift. Now that I have children I really enjoy reading with them, and I think perhaps a little too deeply about the messages I want them to hear. I really do consider myself curator of my children's library!



Having listened to a version of Cinderella this week as a kids'* audiobook, my English-teacher/sociologist** brain went into overdrive! I found myself musing on each little twist of the tale, which I had never before considered as a carefully crafted sequence. Cinderella has been much maligned in feminist theory (as have pretty much all "princess" stories) because to them the poor girl appears completely forlorn, waiting around for a bloke to save her. However none of the aspersions cast has done anything to dim our fascination if the Disney-franchising-and-merchandising-machine can be relied upon, and I think Cinderella might have some important lessons to teach us. This story, which enchants girls of all ages, who ALWAYS identify with Cinderella (not the Ugly Stepsisters, or the Stepmother, or the Fairy Godmother...) why does it endure? 

My Daughter, may you always identify with Cinderella, with the most beautiful of them all. May you always revile cruelty, and true ugliness, which is the ugliness of character.

Cinderella's beauty is repeatedly mentioned, not just a genetic gift, but as a reflection of her virtuousness. She might have been just a pretty girl, but the storyteller is always quick to point out the greater value; her kindness, which radiates out to make her fine features more attractive. Cinderella suffers much at the hands of her stepfamily not because of the physical labour, but because of the offence to her generosity. But she never lowers herself to their level, rather their unkindness forces her to strive for new heights of goodness, rising above their evil treatment day after day. New versions say she does this to fulfil her promise to her mother, but in the older version her mother implores her to be virtuous for God's protection.

Here is where your beauty lies, oh Daughter, in always rising above the evil around you. Evil always attacks goodness, but true goodness is always good, no matter the circumstances. It has faith that justice will be served.

Cinderella is deprived of all that is rightfully hers and promises made to her are broken. The stepmother sets impossible tasks that Cinderella might earn a night at the Ball, and is enraged when she finds these things have given her hope, when they ought to have caused her to despair! The Fairy Godmother appears, seemingly out of nowhere, and magically transforms Cinderella's circumstances beyond her wildest dreams! I wouldn't like to infer that patience and generosity always pay off, but Cinderella's "reward" for her patience, even when all hope seemed completely lost, is more than she could possibly have imagined. A coach from a pumpkin? A mouse for a footman? A shoe made of glass? It is almost ridiculous, truly sublime.

Eye has not seen, nor ear heard... the treasures the Lord has in store for those who love Him, oh Daughter! God is good, He sees you in your troubles, never lose hope, or give in to despair. 

The Prince, we assume, has received a comprehensive education and training for Court life, but Cinderella? One sees no indication that she might have had an opportunity to study the manners and customs of the gentry, and yet the only way she stands out among the rest is by just how well she fits in!! Her skill however is is not in fitting in, but that she epitomises all the virtues they hold dear. Her beauty, grace, modesty, all radiate outward. The mysterious princess captures the attention of not just the Prince, but all at Court. He can't take his eyes off her, but it seems that neither can anyone else, everyone she meets is in love with her.  

Dear Daughter, you need never worry about being accepted in different company, just be a light in darkness, those who love light and truth will love you.

Cinderella and the Prince dance the night away, he dances only with her. Once again we see that Cinderella is able to cover her lack of training with virtue. To play her part well the female in a dancing pair need not have so much training, but rather she must put her trust in the lead of the male. Is this how she captivated the attention of the Prince? Is this how she stood out among the rest, who sought the Prince for their own gains?

My darling Daughter, when you practice being kind even to your enemies, you will find it easy to follow the lead of those who love you. You can inspire love by your trust.

Cinderella is one of the lucky ones in that she doesn't have to kiss any frogs to find her Prince! The Prince's virtue is on public record; he is in training to be King, he has spent a lifetime preparing for leadership, and therefore she may trust that he is good, and his intentions honourable. He will live his life in the light for all to see and follow, and he will encourage her to do the same. Knowing this, she shows him what a wonderful partner she will make. She shows him grace and modesty, and she does not hide her feelings. 


My wonderful Daughter, never be coy, never be dishonest, if you are to love you must do so whole-heartedly. 

The hours roll swiftly by, enjoying blissful carefree timelessness with the charming Prince, when suddenly she is stirred to her senses by the clanging of the bell for Midnight. The image of the beautiful dress that turns to rags, the dignified footmen to mere creatures and the coach to a pumpkin, spoiling any lingering chance of getting home safely... Yes certainly the embarrassment of this picture would be motivation enough to race home, but why does the package come with this caveat? Well, who among us having seen our local watering hole at midnight, could argue the danger of those dark hours after midnight? Note the Fairy Godmother does not talk her through the danger, she protects her by keeping her out of harm's way in the first instance.

Dear Daughter, I do not wish to frighten you or betray your innocence by painting the full picture of the world's ugliness, I seek to protect you when I tell you how much more precious than jewels you are. 

The lost slipper provides the Prince the opportunity to pursue his beloved, to feel as if he has won the prize. It provides him a taste of her life, of almost-lost hope. And it gives them both gratitude for the other when they are reunited. Cinderella is able to see her worth reflected in his unceasing quest to find her and bring her home.

My sweet darling Daughter, watch what happens when your beloved is tested. Almost everyone has a lovely time at the Ball, when you see him struggle, you will see who he truly is.

And it provides every other woman in the kingdom the chance to prove that they are all WRONG for him! It seems utterly ridiculous to me that EVERY woman is dishonest enough to try on the shoe!! The Prince surely learns through his meetings with these others, what a rare jewel Cinderella is! Let us hope that when we recognise we are not Cinderella to a certain Prince, we may be sensible enough to let him go!! 

Dear Daughter, no opportunity will ever pass you by, what's yours is yours, never worry that you will miss out. 



There is a reason why these tales endure, it is not just that a bit of magic captures the imagination, it is that every generation feels it has something to teach the one previous. We tell the same stories over and over, not out of monotony but to teach and learn. We cheer when we see Cinderella waving to the throng of her subjects from the castle balcony, as the newly married princess, because her struggle resonates with us. We too aspire, against all odds, to reach the Castle one day.





*It is worth noting that there are many versions of the story, and the new versions are far less gruesome than the original, where the stepsisters cut off parts of their feet at the stepmother's bidding to fit into the shoes, and have their eyes pecked out at the end as punishment for their cruelty. The comments above are based on the newer versions, though the old ones I'm sure are filled with even MORE interesting symbolism!
**It's also worth noting I am just a lay Catholic, an ex-English teacher, with a sociology minor, and a mum with a sweet 8 month old daughter, NOT a theologian. 

IN A FUNK

I am ready to admit it friends; I am in a funk. 

About two months ago I got a cold.

Ugh. How I hate being sick, and because it happens to me so rarely I was so frustrated with being sick, and not being able to get as much done as I wanted to. I was so ready to have my energy back and get back into the swing of my usual duties. But it took a while to completely kick the bug, and while I waited I got used to cutting myself some slack... Until all there was was slack!! And because there is now so much to do to catch up, I don't even know where to start, nothing appeals. I seem to be just coping with the bare minimum, ie. keeping clean clothes on our backs and meals on the table, but the rest of my duties have gone totally out the window.

For two weeks I have been (unintentionally) trialling a new routine; after breakfast I put the baby to bed, make myself a coffee, and sit on the couch to do a few emails, scroll Facebook, possibly write a blogpost... You know where this is going, don't you? Of course the other two children are on me in an instant, they want "Thomas the Tank Engine", they want to ask fifty million questions, they want to sit directly under the elbow of the arm of the hand that holds the coffee and try to upend the precious brew... They simply will not amuse themselves for half an hour while I do what I like. They are DEFINITELY CAPABLE of doing this, but they refuse. For two weeks I have basically tried to bully them into leaving me alone, fought, shouted, put people in their rooms, averted near total destruction of the house by mere milliseconds... The baby wakes up at 11, the day is halfway over, we're all in a bad mood, we have achieved nothing and we probably won't achieve anything in what's left of the day.

Coming into winter this is particularly problematic. The aforementioned laundry situation is not going to improve any time soon and really must be dealt with in the mornings. The weather is not going to get any better for getting out and about doing things so we will be strictly limited in what we can achieve outside the house, being a one-car family. And the cabin fever associated with limited cheerful sunshiny days is real.

The worst part of it all is that I'm really not enjoying anything at the moment. I seem to be practising being cranky all the time, and so that's my go to response for everything. I'm not enjoying the children, every job is a hard slog and takes a huge effort to begin, and even things I usually enjoy, like my crafts, are neglected, or stressful, because the time I'm "wasting" on them is time I should probably be spending cleaning or managing the household. I am frustrating myself because I'm looking around for someone to blame and the person who's letting me down, is ME! I don't enjoy living in a mess, but I am the one forcing myself to live in it!!

The especially irritating thing is that now I have recognised this I can't un-see it!! I know how it happened, and I've even had glimpses of how to fix it... But part of me just doesn't wanna. Why me?? Why should I do all this work?? Why can't I just sit around with my feet up and relax for a few days??? But dear friends, this is not a bid for sympathy. As you can see; the one thing all these issues have in common IS ME. 

So, a new approach:

1. Break the jobs right down.

It's hard to get out of the vicious cycle of; get nothing done, too much to do, can't do it all, do nothing, too much to do, can't do it all... Just do small things and chip away at the bigger issue. Don't clean the bathroom, clean the shower. Don't clean the kitchen, clean the bench. See?

2. Each night, plan the next day.

There are always jobs, so make just one of them NON-NEGOTIABLE for the next day. Some of jobs have cruised from list to list, week to week, and just never get done this way because none of them are essential. What things need doing every day? What needs doing less often? 

3. Give the children something to do.

Every morning my eldest says to me "What day is it today? What are we doing today?" And I have realised that part of the problem is that I do not have an answer for this. I have not made any demand of myself and what I will do today aside from "get through it alive". And (to them) I am the most interesting thing in the house so they will simply follow me and question me until I am a screaming mess. I need to plan out different aspects of the day and actually think about what the children can do while I do each task, is there some way they can be involved? Lack of direction is starting to turn to destruction. This is not their fault; they need to periods of direction, and CONTRASTING periods of self-direction. They've lost their desire to self-direct because that's ALL they do. Playing a little would also be good for me, and a good way to connect. Be intentional and make an effort to spend time with them, don't say "Soon" or "Later" or "Leave me alone!!!!"

4. Get things done in the morning.

Part of the problem is I spend ALL DAY not getting anything done, so it drags on ALL DAY!!! While the baby sleeps from 9-11 would be a good time to busy myself getting things done and "earning" my afternoon break. I have been absolutely squandering this time with my futile desire to rest before I've really achieved anything. (Connected to this: rest and sleep in the evening so you will have the energy to start your day!!)

5. GET THINGS DONE.

Demand to get things done. Reward yourself for getting things done, don't allow yourself to relax if you haven't done your work first. You'll feel a lot more relaxed when you feel like you've accomplished something.

6. Make time for the things you enjoy.

And actually enjoy them! My crafts keep me sane so I need to make the time for them a priority. 

I think the real key here is to actually make a (realistic) plan, and stick to the plan. It's a great luxury being able to change plans at the last minute, but I shouldn't be throwing the plan out the window every day! 

Stay tuned for the future accountability post!