MY THIRD BABY - The Crying

Here's the thing, once he's clean, dry, warm, fed, well-rested... If he still wants to cry, that can become really stressful for you. It certainly does for me.

Because here you are, desperately trying to meet his needs and make him feel secure, and he seems to have NO respect for how hard you're trying!!! I know mama, you're doing your darnedest to ensure he doesn't experience any discomfort, and trying to respect the fact that he's new here, it's a nasty shock, he's moved from a secure aquatic environment to a whole new ecosystem...

But this bit, where he's crying and crying, I think it's all part of learning that sometimes you can't fix it. Think about a time when you've been uncomfortable or life has been difficult in some way and someone has come in and done something that eased your discomfort. Ahhh, nice. Now think of a time when you've grieved a loss, and people have tried to ease your pain... Sometimes you can be distracted from it, but nothing quite removes the source of your anguish. Nothing can change the fact that what you had is gone.

He's grieving here. Grieving the easy life he's lost where he was never cold, hungry, or being irritated by an uncomfortable outfit*, and perhaps on some level he knows that life is never going to be that easy again. 

And I think part of what makes it stressful for you is that YOU KNOW his life is never going to be THIS easy again! Sleeping 18 hours a day, eating on demand, wheeled around in a fancy hi-tech carriage, snuggled all day long, a wardrobe full of cosy jumpsuits (and ONLY cosy jumpsuits)... ALL expenses paid?!?!?! This is as good as it gets kid!

Sadly it doesn't stop here either. The crying (and screaming and whining and other unattractive emotional outbursts, where are they learning this stuff???) continue, into toddlerhood and beyond. And it probably won't get easier to listen to, or easier to sympathise with, especially when he's distraught over you putting his milk in the green cup instead of the blue one.

So at this point, as hard as it may be, it's best to accept NOW that NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, he is STILL going to hurt many times in his life. Whether you can see it, understand it, or agree that it is a good enough reason to scream the house down at 3am, he is still going to express himself that way at some point. And sometimes it will hurt you that he's hurting. That you perhaps could have prevented it, that it seems too much for him to be expected to cope with, that it's not... Fair? Or perhaps other times you will be glad that he's hurting! Maybe now he'll stop climbing on the furniture, or thumping his brother who's now big enough to thump him back!

It's all part of the "having a kid" experience. Babies cry. I wish someone had helped me understand that with my first child, because I think I genuinely thought I was going to be such a FANTASTIC mother that my child would never cry! Hoo boy it's been a long road to this point.


*An extra note here; your baby might be very cute but a fashion icon she ain't. Tutus are cute, but have you ever had tule come into contact with your bare skin? And she doesn't want to wear anything with a waistband for at least four to six months. ESPECIALLY if you're having issues with gas, just imagine a balloon with a rubber band tied around it... Step away from the size 000 jeans, it's Pyjama Time people.